


Look, Gordon! Gays!

by esseepee



Category: Half Life, Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Bodyswap, Canon-Typical Violence, Confessions, Fluff, Hijinks & Shenanigans, In a way, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Pining, as in a nose is implied to be broken and that's it, them/themrey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:15:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24247888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/esseepee/pseuds/esseepee
Summary: all in all, tommy cannot STAND these people sometimes. there's enough drama as it is, now just tell each other you're in the same predicament!
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman, Bubby/Dr. Coomer (Half-Life)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 246





	Look, Gordon! Gays!

**Author's Note:**

> originally going to focus on cubby but frenrey slipped in. also it's 2 am i dont want to drag this on too long. and yes they/themrey, nb benrey.

“Bubby?”

Said man paused mid-air, glancing at his unmarked fists then to the crushed machinery. “Yes, Harold?”

“Why did you never tell me you could set things on fire?” As if to demonstrate, the box next to Bubby was engulfed in flames. Bubby wasn’t sure if he should take that as a threat or not.

“That very reason. You’re powerful as fuck WITHOUT fire, you do not need--”

“Fuel?”

“... What?”

“Fuel to my power?” Dr. Coomer grinned as the gears in Bubby’s head whirled.

“... Oh my _God_.” Bubby groaned as Dr. Coomer laughed.

It made him double take, it always did, hearing an uncharacteristic sound or phrase come from _his_ body but not _him._ Whenever he laughed it held a mocking characteristic, an undercurrent of smugness no matter how genuine, yet Dr. Coomer made his voice jovial, _light-hearted_.

It’s weird that his heart soars at his own voice. He decides not to think about it.

“Oh, hel--”

“Hello, Gordon!” Bubby--Dr. Coomer, he reminds himself, he needs to get in character--spins, purposely punching the still-burning box to divert attention.

“woa-- Woah. Iiiii don’t think that’s a good idea, punching, uh, fire.”

“Nonsense, Gordon! A little exothermic play is just what we need!”

“Oookay. Hey, we should, like, get moving.”

“That’s a grand idea! Where’s Tommy and Benrey?”

“What?”

“Tommy and Benrey aren’t here, dummypants.” Bubby chimed in. Gordon squinted.

“Oh. Lemme nab them real quick.”

As soon as Gordon walked out, Bubby and Dr. Coomer ran towards each other, opening their mouths to gossip. Unfortunately, Bubby underestimates this body’s speed and crashes into Dr. Coomer. A resounding _crunch_ made Bubby all too aware of his to-be-felt-later injury.

“Oh, shit, Harold! I’m--”

“Bubby.” A curt, serious tone so uncharacteristic for the _both_ of them made Bubby shut up. A pang of fear pierced his heart.

“... Yeah?”

“You are a twink.”

His eyes widened and his mouth dropped. “WHAT?”

“You seem surprised?” The lilt made it seem mocking, which only increased his spluttering. The irony did not slip pass him.

“I--well--no--” Dr. Coomer’s laugh made him pause. He crossed his arms, ducking his head to hide his flushing cheeks, only to realize _he’s on Harold who has a bloody nose. (And damn, his thighs were sturdy, not even a tremble when his hands retracted.)_

“You’re worst than the tubes!” He yelled, rolling over and pulling Dr. Coomer up with him. He mumbles curses as he speed walks into the other room, nearly slamming the door into Benrey’s face as he shoved Dr. Coomer’s--his--hand into the med station.

“Bubby! Are you alright?” Tommy asked, running over with a soda. “Here, you can have my soda, it’s cold like an iceberg!”

“Oor like my heart.” Benrey’s snort twists into a yelp as Gordon elbows them.

“No self-deprecating babble, Benrey! Gordon clearly disagrees with that behavior!”

The two blinked at Bubby then exchanged glances. They then looked away, turned away, even.

“I couldn’t care less. Benrey is a sucklord.” Gordon crossed his arms.

“ _i’m_ the sucklord? Saying phrases that don’t even fit _you_ is what sucks. Pretty fail.” Gordon roll his eyes. His fingers fidgeted. Bubby wasn’t sure why.

“He, Mr. Freeman, probably picked it up from you!” Tommy chimed in, wringing his hands.

“What? No. I’m original, Benrey isn’t. Total kindergartener.”

“You two act like schoolyard crushes.” Bubby mutters as he squeezes Dr. Coomer’s-- _his--_ hand, who merely looked at him with _such a soft gaze he was struggling to keep composure._ Yet again, the irony did not go over his head.

“whuh?”

“Yes, you do, honestly.” Dr. Coomer looked away--Bubby can _breath_ again, thank God--to grin at the two. “You’re always saving each other then brushing it off as if it’s a coincidence.”

“No, _no._ ” Gordon jabbed a finger in their direction. His other hand covered his mouth, which poorly concealed his growing blush. “No talking.”

“Wait, why are you embarrassed about it? You two care about each other, right?” Tommy asked, tilting his head.

“yeah, just say no homo, bro.”

“ _You_ say it.”

Benrey paused, then pouted. “chicken head.” They mumbled.

“Chicken head…” Gordon repeated with a scoff.

“Anywho,” Dr. Coomer clasped his hands together. “I think we should get going.”

“you’re acting weird, too.” Benrey pointed out with an uncharacteristically suspicious look. Uh oh.

“Too? So you admit you are being weird? You and Gordon?” Dr. Coomer hastily says. The dedication is admirable. Bubby goes in for a smooch but masks it as a glasses adjustment. With teeth.

Bad save. No one is talking. Dr. Coomer is staring at him with wide eyes. He could feel eyes boring holes on the back of his head.

“Your glasses are sturdy, nothing is out of the ordinary!” Bubby tries, however cringes at the crack in his voice.

“You guys can’t even _say_ no homo, that was very homo.”

“Ahhhhhhh!” Tommy whisper-yells, clutching at his propeller hat. “I can’t take it anymore! You guys are both swapped! Bubby with Dr. Coomer and vice versa! Mr. Freeman with Benrey and vice versa! No more secrets, no more pranks!”

There was silence for five seconds.

“wait WHAT”

“Why the hell didn’t you guys say anything!”

“Bubby wanted to do a prank! And I wanted to set things on fire!”

“I wanted to punch the fuck out of everything.”

“Besides, why didn’t you guys say so?”

Benrey and Gordon looked at each other.

“ask benrey…”

“‘s embarrassing, kinda.” Gordon--Benrey--sways side to side.

“How? Even if we weren’t in the same situation, it’s nothing _big_.”

“‘s weird.”

“Not really?”

“you guys are like, in love, it’s fine for you two. we’re not, on the other hand”

“WAIT,” Tommy exclaims, hands flying to his face. “Benrey and you aren’t together?”

“NO??”

“why would I EVER want to be with THAT asshole??”

“Because you’re both obviously pining for each other? Recently, anyway. Makes sense since your behaviors have been different.” Bubby says, quirking a brow.

“We have noticed you two sneaking off!” Dr. Coomer adds.

“I thought you guys were together???” Tommy mumbles, ducking his head. Bubby couldn’t help but laugh.

“... Well,” Gordon--Benrey-- shrugs. “I don’t think we can trick Tommy like that. We should kiss.”

“w.” Benrey--Gordon--sinks through the floor.

“Mission failed, we’ll get ‘em next time.” Gordon--Benrey--mumbles, fingers fidgeting. A nervous tic, Bubby notes, however that stops as Benrey--Gordon--zooms up and pecks Gordon--Benrey-- before diving back into the floor.

“Love wins!” Tommy cheers.


End file.
